National Hat Day
by Mystoftime
Summary: Luffy's spontaneous ideas know no bounds,so it comes as no surprise when he invents a new holiday, involving hats! Too bad for his crew mates.


** Disclaimer: **One hat, two hat… red hat, blue hat…

**National Hat Day**

**A One Piece Fanfic**

Monkey D. Luffy was notorious for two things among his crew. One was constantly losing his trademark hat to a gust of wind or other means. Second was chasing after said hat and then consequently falling into the ocean.

This happened yet again as Luffy let out a cry of "Hat!" and teetered overboard. As always Usopp and Chopper panicked and Zoro was left to rescue their drowning captain.

Grumbling, he put his katanas out of harm's way and took off his haramaki before diving into the water. Everyone on deck hardly gave the fiasco a glance as it was practically daily routine. When a dripping wet Zoro and unconscious Luffy climbed back on the ship, however, they couldn't help looking up from their various activities.

Usopp and Chopper ran over as Zoro put his foot on Luffy's chest and pushed down. Water squirted out of his mouth in bucketfuls and it continued that way until the rubber boy gasped for air and sat up.

His hand immediately went for his head. "Hat! Where's hat?"

Wordlessly, Zoro slapped the cause of all this trouble back on Luffy's head.

"Next time, I won't take the time to save your ass," he growled and resumed his position against the mast.

Luffy merely grinned. The swordsman always said that and he knew he didn't mean it.

The sharpshooter and doctor sighed in relief. Their captain was such a handful… it was dangerous just to play a game with him like they'd been doing.

Behind them, Nami wasn't so gratified. Her expression was anything but bemused.

"I swear. I have no idea why I follow a captain like you Luffy," she sighed and shook her head knowing it was hopeless. "Especially for a man who's going to become the Pirate King you're so irresponsible."

Robin got up from her chair to stand next to the navigator. " It seems Captain-san is always forgetting he can't swim."

"It's the hat half the time," Nami concluded dully.

Meanwhile, Chopper had managed to stop Luffy from shooting out of sight.

"Wait Luffy! We can't play until I know you're okay!" He transformed into Heavy Point to keep the hyperactive boy down.

The struggle didn't last long and ended when Chopper informed everyone that Luffy was fine. Not that they couldn't see that with him dashing off to bug Usopp and Franky as they worked on a new project. But as the doctor he had to take extra care.

Usopp hurried over to Luffy before he could come within distance of their work. "Oi, Luffy. Wait until we're done, okay?" The sharpshooter took in the hat on his captain's head. "Got your hat back, too?"

"Yup!" Luffy grinned. "Zoro found it for me."

"I thought that thing was tied to your head," Franky stood up and adjusted his sunglasses.

The rubber boy looked a little confused, but started smiling anyway.

Franky shrugged and handed a wrench to Usopp. "Guess we're lucky not all of us have hats to fall into the sea. Here, Usopp-bro, that screw needs to be tightened. I need to get some cola from below deck."

As he walked off, Luffy took on a thoughtful expression and wandered over to where Zoro was sleeping peacefully. He sat down next to him and stayed quiet for a few more moments, effectively alarming some of the crew.

"Uh, Luffy," Chopper trotted to him with a concerned look. "Are you-?"

Suddenly, he jumped up and pounded his fist into his other hand. "Yosh! Everyone I have an idea!"

"Eek!" startled, the little doctor scattered and hid behind the swordsman.

His eyes were wide and excited. Robin and Nami gazed at Luffy with both interest and suspicion. Beside the boy, Zoro snapped awake and quickly zoned in on the source of the disturbance.

"Luffy! Can't you be quiet for one second? I _will_ throw you into the ocean."

But, the rubbery captain brushed off the threat. No one could stop him when he got that gleam in his eyes, which usually meant it wouldn't bode well for the crew.

He took a deep breath before opening his mouth and…

"Tomorrow we're going to have National Hat Day!"

Nothing could be heard but the waves crashing against the hull for several heartbeats. Luffy's spontaneous outbursts were always able to take his crew by surprise even after such a long time sailing together.

Usopp's jaw dropped open. "Eh?"

Chopper's did as well, but for a different reason.

"Sugei! That's so awesome, Luffy!"

"Yohoho! What a marvelous idea!" chuckled Brooke and he plucked a string on his violin. "What do you want us do for such a special day, may I ask?"

Picking up Chopper and dancing, Luffy laughed. "You guys need to have a hat to wear too so you can chase after it when you lose it and it's got to be a super awesome special hat so we match. Then everyone will be happy and we'll have a party!"

No one could respond to that. Luffy logic made their brains hurt.

Then Robin smiled and murmured softly, "It's an intriguing concept…"

"Don't tell me you're going along with him too, Robin!" Nami moaned and sank into her deck chair. "This always happens."

It was the swordsman that spoke his opinion on this new arrangement the clearest.

"Forget it, Luffy," he grumbled, still half-asleep. "It's a stupid idea and we're pirates. We don't dress up for the heck of it."

"But Zoro!" Luffy pouted and sat down on the deck again with Chopper on his head. A few minutes passed where the rest of the crew thought it was settled, when the boy suddenly smiled, almost slyly. "Captain's order! Get a hat everyone!"

He bounced back up and took off. Chopper chased him laughing in the direction of the pile of tools and wires where Franky and Usopp had been working.

"Oi! Oi! Don't go over there! The super new project isn't finished!" he hollered and ran after them.

As they shouted and ran, Sanji walked out of the kitchen. He took one look at everyone's somewhat confused expressions and could tell Luffy had said or done something idiotic again.

"What happened here?" he pulled out a cigarette and lit the end.

The navigator slapped her hand to her forehead. "You don't want to know."

While Nami explained the specifics of Luffy's impromptu declaration, the others had resigned themselves to a tomorrow filled with unhealthy excitement. No one had even thought to tell Luffy that national usually meant more than the crew of the _Thousand Sunny_. That would only make things worse.

And they would need all the luck they could get for a holiday ruled by their captain and hats.

0~0~0

Within five minutes of anchoring and setting off in the port town of Koshu the next day, Nami took charge of her unruly nakama.

They were decidedly one minded in how they wanted to go about this 'hat deal', but the navigator was certainly up to the task.

Koshu was a good-sized town, big enough to merit a small marine base nearby that they had to watch out for. The good news was the way it was laid out. Every street, shortcut and path led back to the center of the town where the shopping district was located along with a marketplace. It was a network so smoothly laid out that even Zoro would have trouble getting lost and Nami knew they had no time for that if they wanted to appease Luffy _and_ avoid the marines.

"Okay, everyone. Listen up!" Nami took out her Climatact and stuck it in the ground for emphasis. Her crewmates had already started to disperse, but her tone caught their attention, just barely in some cases and too much in others.

They had stopped in the middle of the square and across from a rather large and obnoxiously obvious sign that read, "Grand Hat Emporium."

Nami stood in front of the square's giant fountain. "We're going to get this done as painlessly as possible. But… if you resist I _will _resort to force." She shot a glare at the swordsman standing at the back of their group. "Robin, can you keep an eye on our captain and for trouble?"

The dark-haired woman nodded and crossed her arms. Along the alley, extra arms and hands grew, terrifying several pedestrians.

"Sanji, I'm going to need your help to pick out a suitable hat for these oafs. You're one of the only ones with decent taste."

Hearts came to the cook's eye. "Hai, Nami-swan! Your wish is my command!"

"Too bad she won't wish you to roll over and die," Zoro yawned.

"What was that, marimo?"

Zoro smirked. "Nothing, princess curly brow."

Before Sanji could retort and either pirate could start fighting, Nami knocked their heads together and they crumpled to the ground.

"If you morons can't keep your hands off each other for this one time…." She growled and left the rest of her threat to their imaginations.

"Hai, my lovely Nami-swan~!" Sanji cooed.

The swordsman just grunted and Nami sighed. Why couldn't they get through one simple shopping trip?

Usopp brought them back to reality. "Um, anyone know where Luffy went?"

They deadpanned and anxious glances all around confirmed the rubber boy was indeed missing.

"Ahh!" Chopper screamed. "Luffy's gone!"

"Calm down. He just wandered off like usual," Zoro reassured the easily scared doctor. "Huh? Oh there he is."

At Zoro's comment, all eight heads turned. Sure enough, Luffy was racing from stall to stall in the marketplace, efficiently zoning in on the ones selling meat. It looked there was enough to see to keep their captain busy for a while.

Robin smiled. She'd known he was there and had been watching silently, wondering how long it would take the others to notice. She took her duties to heart every time. "It seems that everything really is connected in Koshu, even the restaurants and market."

"How convenient," Nami remarked dryly.

Putting her faith in Robin's abilities, particularly the Luffy tracking one, she turned to the rest. Luffy had already refused to swap his straw hat for another despite the allure of trying on a wide assortment of others so he was set. That still left everyone else.

"We have a couple hours, everyone. Let's go!"

0~0~0

From experience, Nami knew better than to have everyone enter the shop together. Even with Luffy, harbinger of this headache, occupied, it spelled trouble.

So, with Robin and Sanji's (exuberant) help she organized a strict system where they would enter individually. That way they wouldn't wander away from the town square and be dealt with without any added distractions.

She quickly decided to get the easiest done first.

"Chopper! Brooke! Come on in!"

Skeleton and reindeer, the oddest pair the manager, his staff and other hat enthusiasts had ever seen, entered the emporium nervously. To Chopper, it was simultaneously exciting and equal to entering the dragon's lair, Nami being the dragon. To Brooke it was a chance to see ladies' panties and perhaps tidy his wardrobe.

Nami shuffled them further into the huge shop and filed the two past rows upon rows of hats. There were hats of all kinds, shapes, colors, sizes and fabrics, and many that defied logic, much like the Grand Line. Chopper stopped once to stare in awe at a sleek cap that had live birds nesting in its brim. The navigator pulled him away before an employee could tempt the impressionable doctor.

Finally, heads and eyes swimming from the strange and wonderful sights, Brooke and Chopper were yanked to a halt in the far right section of the store, near the back. There were a couple chairs to sit in and wait as others tried on hats, but Nami didn't comply. Instead she shoved her bewildered crewmates down and turned to a stack of boxes next to a tall mirror framed in silver.

Then Brooke thought to point the obvious out. "Nami-san, Chopper and I already have hats so isn't this unnecessary?"

Chopper pulled his beloved pink hat over his eyes. "I don't want to get a new hat. Dr. Hiruluk gave this to me."

Nami paused in rummaging through the boxes and Chopper started to inch backward.

"Ha! I found it!" she proclaimed and held up a flat box. Brooke jumped in surprise and the reindeer dashed behind a shelf. Nami sighed.

"It's okay, Chopper. I'm not going to hurt you."

He peeked out at her. He wasn't so sure about this anymore. "Nami scary…"

She put her hands on her hips and faced Brooke. "To answer your question, maybe, but we can't go against a captain's order and…"

"Luffy didn't change hats," Chopper bravely stepped forward.

"That's beyond my control," Nami admitted a tad mournfully. "_And_… have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately, Brooke? You're hat is so ratty there's rats living in it!"

The mirror was shoved before the gentleman skeleton and he screamed.

"S-scary!"

"Exactly, and that's just your hat."

With Brooke's enlightenment, Nami watched as he carefully removed his old tap hat. He put in on a chair and even as he drew his hand away hesitantly the hat squeaked.

A rat crawled out from underneath the brim and all three pirates shrieked. When they eventually calmed down, Nami wiped the sweat from her brow and wore a determined expression. "I told you and Chopper… I found something you might like."

She held out the thin box she'd dug out earlier to the doctor and he slowly opened it. His eyes went wide with excitement as he saw it's contents and he smiled timidly.

"I know your hat's special to you and I'm not going to make you keep this. It's just for one day, but I thought it would fit you…"

Suddenly, a ball of fur catapulted into her and Chopper cried happily, "I love it, Nami! It doesn't replace my old one, but I'll wear it today like a pirate!"

Smiling at his reaction, the navigator pried Chopper off her to get a better look.

His fuzzy head was now covered by an oversized hat with a small brim colored in pink, red and white with a tree in the front. It was big for him, but that was the style. He certainly didn't look like a menacing pirate, the size and colors accentuating his big eyes and youthful face.

Nami couldn't resist. She picked him up and squeezed him. "Aw! Chopper you're so adorable!"

He squeaked in protest and the red-haired woman put him back down. But not before Brooke bent his head a little to see and commented," Yohoho! It looks very good on you, Chopper-kun!"

Chopper grinned at the praise and danced around.

"Stop it! That doesn't make me happy, you bastards!"

Brooke and Nami sweat dropped. "You sure look happy…"

It turned out that Brooke was very efficient in picking out a new hat that not only appealed to him, but to the surveyor, Nami.

The fine silk top hat with a blue feather tucked into the black ribbon encircling it was definitely nice and the skeleton needed a new one, but there was just one problem…

"How much is that?"

Nami gave Brooke and his selected hat a skeptical once over.

He tapped his bony chin with a bony finger. "Ah, I believe it was in the sales rack."

"Hm…okay. Give it to me," Nami held out her hand for the hat and Brooke looked as confused as a skeleton could be.

"Pardon?"

She beckoned with her hand again.

"Are you going to show me your panties?"

"No!" the navigator kicked Brooke in the head and snatched the hat as he fell. "I'm going to pay for all of them together and it better not go above our budget. You too, Chopper."

The reindeer had helped Brooke to his feet and hurriedly gave Nami his new hat, putting his pink one back on his head.

Nami turned to them after placing them in a neat stack. "Okay. Usopp's next. Go send him in on your way out. Robin too, if she's not to bust watching out for Luffy."

They stared at her for a couple heartbeats, uncertain around the testy navigator.

Her shoe tapped impatiently.

"You heard me! Go!"

"Yes ma'am!" they chorused and we're gone before she could blink.

As the two Straw Hats made their way to the front of the store they ran into the very person they were searching for.

"Usopp!"

"Brooke? Chopper?" the sharpshooter took a step back, a little ruffled from their collision. "How'd it go?"

Chopper opened his mouth to reply, but no sound came out. The experience had been exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. So Brooke answered for both of them.

"It was quite invigorating," the skeleton chuckled. "We found hats pretty easily at least. We were just about to get you in fact."

A nervous smile crept to Usopp's face. "Oh, I'm next then? I was hoping Robin wasn't right…"

"What do you mean?" Chopper wondered.

He plastered on a brave expression. "Uh, nothing! Robin guessed that I would be up next, that's all." He rubbed the back of his neck anxiously.

Brooke grinned. "She's next too."

In the background, they abruptly heard the sounds of cursing and yelling, along with the telltale signs of Robin's Devil Fruit ability. They all knew that their own crew was responsible.

"I guess she's a little tied up now…" Usopp commented as two of her hands caught Luffy before Sanji, Zoro or Franky could. He couldn't help, but feel sorry for the merchants nearby who were very evidently hassled by the meat-loving boy.

After leaving the others, Usopp ventured into the spacious hat emporium and was greeted by stacks and shelves of hats wherever he faced. He didn't have to go far before something sharp and shiny caught his eye.

Brimming with anticipation, he dug the object out of a barrel of musty, rejected hats. When he could see the whole thing he couldn't believe his luck. Usopp wasn't known for being lucky, yet here he was with a great find in his hands.

He studied the brown fabric encircled by a row of crocodile fangs then grinned.

With the hat perched on his head, Usopp thrust his finger to the ceiling in a heroic pose.

"Behold! Captain Usopp the Great Crocodile Hunter!"

His call echoed in the large room and he smiled with satisfaction. Yes, this would work.

All he needed was a mirror to see how great he looked in his new accessory. He turned his head to start looking when he heard a feminine chuckle.

"A good choice, Longnose-kun."

"Agh!" Usopp yelped and whirled in fright to see who, or what it was. During his frenzied rotation he tripped over a barrel and collapsed to the ground, buried in several hats.

Robin peered down at him with a bemused expression, her hand extended to the startled sharpshooter. "Gomen. I didn't mean to scare you."

Usopp rushed to regain his broken pride. "Oh! Robin! I didn't see you there."

"I can tell." She picked up the brown hat that had fallen along with Usopp and gave it back to him.

Smiling sheepishly, he put it on his head. "Ne, did you see a mirror anywhere?"

She gestured to the back of the shop, still smiling. "It's right in the back."

"Heh, thanks." He turned to go when a figure suddenly emerged from the rows and brushed him aside. Usopp fell on his backside for the second time in two minutes.

"Hey!" he protested, but the offender had other things on her mind.

"Robin! I was wondering where you and clumsy here were!" Nami greeted the archaeologist. "How were the boys outside?"

A light laugh came from Robin. "They're under control now."

Nami let out a big breath.

"Thank God. I felt bad about leaving you with them all alone."

"Cook-san was very helpful," the older woman remarked.

The orange-haired woman became serious, "He better be."

At this time, Usopp had struggled to his feet and was now a safe distance away from the crazy females of the crew. "Oi. I'm fine thank you very much."

They took in his disgruntled expression and Nami smiled a little evilly.

"How am I not surprised you picked _that_ one?"

Usopp's hands went to the hat and adjusted the drawstrings underneath. "It's perfect for the Great Captain Usopp who-"

"Yeah, yeah," the navigator waved her hand disinterestedly. "If you don't want me to charge you for it you better stop complaining."

He muttered something under his breath, yet held his tongue. The Great Captain Usopp was brave, but he wasn't stupid.

Meanwhile, the fiery Nami moved on to Robin's selection, which the sharpshooter had failed to notice.

It was a wide-brimmed, white sun hat with a black ribbon and rose decorating the middle.

"Beautiful, Robin. You have fabulous taste as always."

Robin smiled a little and tipped the hat so it wasn't shading her face as much. "Arigato, Nami-san. Though I'm afraid it's too fragile to wear on our adventures.

"Either way, you should get it," Nami encouraged. She went to a piece of paper she'd pulled from her shirt pocket. "Great, we're on schedule. Now all we have to do is get-"

Abruptly, Sanji strolled through the entrance of the hat store with a decidedly brisk step. His face lit up like a light when he spotted both his lovely ladies in one spot.

"Nami-swan! Robin-chwan! Oh your hat really accentuates your endless beauty!"

He probably would've gone on longer if Nami hadn't interceded. "What is it, Sanji-san?"

Just like that, he calmed down. His finger rolled around a cigarette.

"I wanted to check on you, but I also need to know when these oafs get their turn." He jabbed his thumb to the plaza outside.

"Usopp and Robin are done. So…" she checked her list. "Yeah, Franky and Zoro are the last ones."

Until now, Usopp had patiently listened and held his hat tightly. But he chose to speak when an alarming notion hit him.

He raised his hand to get the other three to look his way. "Um, if you're in here, Sanji, and Robin is too…. Then who's out there watching Luffy?"

The atmosphere swiftly grew silent, so they could've heard a pin fall.

Then, with her usual calmness in the face of possible disaster, Robin passed her sun hat to Nami and walked out the store with a casual, "I'll join them."

Glancing at Nami and Sanji's unreadable faces, Usopp hurried after the archeologist, practically throwing his hat at the navigator.

Sanji looked to the woman for guidance and she kneaded her forehead in thought.

Almost over… if they could get through the last two they were in the clear. Mostly, because they had to calm down Luffy enough to bring him back to the ship.

"Sanji-san," Nami started. "Can you bring Zoro and Franky in for me please?"

Her demure expression wasn't even needed.

With a lovesick grin, he agreed. Yet his grin turned slightly malicious as he went back into the square. "It'll be my pleasure."

In a matter of minutes and with a raucous bout of yelling and several earthshaking thuds, the blonde cook returned with his two-crew mates in tow. As soon as Nami saw them, she was glad that she'd had the foresight to move the mirror closer to the front of the emporium. All three of the boys were obviously ruffled, with clothes out of place and dirt on their faces.

And only Sanji was smiling.

"I beat some sense into them, like you told me Nami-swan~!" he proclaimed proudly and Zoro mumbled a harsh word in Sanji's direction.

The navigator stopped staring at their present condition and rolled her eyes. "That's not what I meant, but oh well. Come here."

In an instant he was by her side, and Nami gave him a knowing smirk. He was like a puppy, always wanting to please her and she was sure he wouldn't mind setting an example to the other boys.

"Would you mind trying on some hats? For me?"

He stopped grinning. "Uh, what?"

Franky laughed and Zoro unsuccessfully tried not to join in.

"Looks like you're the dummy," the cyborg teased.

Nami continued to stare at Sanji, watching as he fought to control his rising frustration. In the end, the choice was obvious.

"Of course, Nami-san!"

She led him to a collection of rather refined hats in one corner and let him take his pick.

No one uttered a sound as Nami consulted the price so far on her slip of paper.

Zoro settled down on an empty barrel, turning it over before sitting on it. Franky followed his lead, humphed and leaned against a wall free of musty hats. Their posture, crossed arms and tense shoulders communicated just how much they didn't want to be there.

A bottle of booze appeared in Zoro's hand and Nami narrowed her eyes. He must have swiped it earlier and he spared no time in taking a swig now.

"Can't wait to see what princess chooses," he grinned around the alcohol.

Suddenly, a shoe cracked down on his green head and Zoro choked on his drink. He barely managed to keep his balance as he quickly whipped around to his swords, glaring at Sanji all the way.

"What the hell, curly-cook!"

"I'll show you princess, shitty swordsman!"

Franky watched with a raised eyebrow. This was utterly predictable and Nami wasn't going to interfere. They needed to release their stress somehow.

Then, the swordsman saw the addition on Sanji's head… and collapsed to the ground in a fit of laughter.

Sanji bit down on his cigarette. "You bastard…"

Hurriedly, Nami went to calm him. If they broke anything, she'd have to pay the store and there was no way she would let her precious beri got to waste like that.

"Let me see, Sanji-san," she ordered and took in the hat.

It was a traditional hunting hat, low on the head with barely any brim and a grey tweed pattern. The slender style fit the cook's wiry frame and the way he held himself. Nami checked the price tag and was satisfied.

"Nami-san?" Sanji asked.

"Hm? Oh, it looks very nice on you. Dashing in fact." She smiled at her own description.

He went faint with happiness and lavished Nami with thanks and compliments. A tick forming in her temple, she took it in silence.

However, Zoro was still chuckling to himself. "Ahaha. That thing on you're head… is just… hilarious…" he gasped. "I had no idea… you killed little, furry animals…"

Furious, Sanji took a menacing step forward, then stopped when he caught a shake of the head and wink from Nami. When his lip curved in a smile, Franky noticed and his eyes widened.

"Um, Zoro-bro...?"

It was a little late.

"I wouldn't be laughing if I were you, stupid marimo."

In a scarily synchronized motion, the cook stepped to the side and the navigator walked up from behind him.

She had a devilish glint in her eyes. "Oh, Zoroooo!"

The swordsman glanced at the pair in the midst of drinking his sake.

"Eh?"

"You're not supposed to drink in here! The store manager said he'd leave us be if we didn't bring in food or drink!" Nami scolded and grabbed Zoro's arm.

As she pulled him back into the shop and away from any chance at safety, his surprise turned to alarm. "Oi! Leave me alone, witch!"

There was one last pull that even Zoro was powerless against and they both disappeared into the darkness. Sanji and Franky stood by and watched as an empty bottle rolled across the floor.

It stopped at Franky's feet and he crouched to pick it up. "No! Zoro-bro! His life was cut so short…"

Tears ran down the shipwright's face and Sanji puffed on a new smoke. He kept one eye on the part of the store his other crewmates had gone and the other on the overly dramatic Franky.

Raised voices alerted them to the health and relative safety of Nami _and_ Zoro.

"Oi," Sanji nudged Franky with his shoe. "Listen. They're fine."

If Zoro's continued swearing and mantra of ," Damn you, woman!" could be considered fine.

They eventually emerged none worse for the wear. Though, if it was possible, the swordsman looked even unhappier.

Nami bent to whisper in his ear. "Don't forget your debt."

He didn't reply. His glare was enough. Why couldn't the woman let him be? It defied logic.

"Ok, Zoro," the navigator spoke slowly and with emphasis. "I know you can't find something good yourself, so I took the liberty of picking something out myself."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he growled, but it didn't come out threatening as he intended.

She approached him as one would a cornered animal, desperate and likely to try anything.

Sanji smirked. "This should be good."

"I'm next…" Franky moaned.

A brief scuffle ensued where Nami fought to restrain Zoro long enough to force a hat onto his head.

The others watched interestedly as it dragged on, until finally and inevitably the victor made herself known.

It wasn't without effort though, and Nami was on her knees panting. But she smiled when Sanji helped her up and knew her work had been done.

Zoro was completely humiliated and itching to lash out. His broad back faced his three crewmates and his head hung on his chest.

"What's wrong, marimo? Too scared to show your face?" Sanji provoked.

Knowing the swordsman, he would snap back, turning long enough for them to get a glimpse of his hat.

"No."

His answer shocked Nami a little. So, she tried a different tactic. "Please, Zoro. It's for Luffy and you're going to have to turn around sooner or later."

"Later."

That was it, the orange-haired woman frowned and raised her fist. Then Sanji brought her to a halt.

"Let me," he offered. Sanji stalked over to Zoro's back and hollered.

"Damn coward! Can't handle one measly hat!"

That barely invoked a twitch from the other man and Franky gave Nami a questioning glance. What was the cook planning?

Once Sanji began to lift his leg to begin a familiar routine, they realized what he was up to.

They hold their breath as his leg came down on Zoro's back and he made no move to dodge.

Then, just when they thought the swordsman would be hit by the powerful kick, Zoro reacted. In the blink of an eye, he grabbed Sanji's leg and twisted so the cook slammed against the wall.

Zoro pressed his arm against his throat.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he snarled.

No one could read Sanji's expression until he lifted his gaze and smiled. A cigarette fell from his mouth.

"Swordsman's honor, shitty marimo," he replied without flinching. "Nice hat."

"Ah…"Nami and Franky nodded their heads in understanding.

It was well known amongst the crew that Zoro wouldn't attack an enemy when his back was turned. Yet, it was lesser known, apart from the older members, that it would also apply to Zoro himself. To take a blow from behind while fighting was shameful, even if it wasn't life or death, he would face it head on.

Sighing, Zoro released Sanji and slowly faced the others.

With his arms crossed and shadowed eyes daring them to make a snarky remark, there was no doubt that Zoro's new hat, a cap to be precise, made him look dangerous and kind of…

"You look like a juvenile delinquent."

Everyone stared at Franky, and he shrugged. "Hey. It's true. I would know."

Nami giggled. "That's because he is one."

"Hai," Sanji agreed.

They referred to the black and white cap with a silver star crossed with a sword in front jokingly. It was fitting for the swordsman, even if he didn't think so.

"Haha," Zoro commented sarcastically. "Glad you got your laugh out of it. "

He tore off the hat and threw it in the general direction of the others.

"Watch yourself," Sanji warned.

Zoro gave him the middle finger and stalked away.

Before he could go far, Nami's voice called, "And where do you think you're going?"

"I'm leaving this damn place."

"Then, it's that way."

Sanji chuckled as the swordsman stiffened, corrected his direction and then was gone.

Franky was laughing at the scene. There was never a dull moment with the Straw Hats and their antics together were the most amusing.

That's when he saw Sanji and Nami eyed him.

"Uh, why are you looking at me like that?"

Suddenly remembering, he raised his hands in surrender. He began to back up. Maybe he shouldn't be poking fun when he had the same issue.

Though, Nami had been dreading outfitting Zoro the most, she soon discovered that Franky was no better. In fact, he was so adamant about not wearing a hat she was starting to lose hope.

When he turned his metal nose up at yet another hat option, the navigator snapped.

"Why can't you pick something already, Franky? You've seen dozens of hats and you don't like even one? Hurry up or I'll make you wear one like this."

She brandished a bright pink ensemble with lots of glitter.

The cyborg winced, but kept his footing. "I don't want to cover my SUPA hair!"

"It's for one freaking day and that's almost over…" Sanji muttered, thoroughly tired out from the affair. His kicks may beat back an enemy, but they sure as hell couldn't make his nakama change their mind. At least, not this time.

"They make me nervous," Franky explained. "I never really wore one before. Not even in Water 7."

Nami blinked. "Water 7…?" She shot up from where she sat on a barrel. "That's it!"

"Nani?"

She whispered her plan in Sanji's ear and he nodded. "I remember that one."

For a handful of minutes he ducked in between a couple shelves and when he reappeared he had something in his hand.

"Cover your eyes," Nami ordered and made sure Franky did as told.

Sanji placed a hat upon the head of blue hair and rotated his body so he would face the mirror when he opened his peepers.

When Franky started to fidget, the orange-haired woman smiled. "Okay you can look."

The two partners in crime watched with anticipation as Franky uncovered his face and took in the brand new addition to his outfit- a bright orange construction hat. Perfect for a shipwright and what it lacked in style was made up by the protection it provided.

Franky knocked his huge fist against the hard shell experimentally. He wore a thoughtful expression and adjusted its position so more of his hair peeked out from underneath.

"So, baka, what do you think?" the cook asked.

When Franky didn't reply, Nami frowned and threatened, "You better like it, I'm not looking for anymore hats!"

Her threat ended in a taken aback squeak as Franky enveloped both her and Sanji in a bone- crushing hug.

"Thanks you guys!" he bawled over their shoulders. "It's super! And I might even use it outside of this holiday."

With that settled, Nami collected all the hats and shooed the boys out of the store to meet with the others. She paid for them at the front desk, where the manager had discreetly avoided their rowdy group at her advice.

Once everything was paid for it was time to go. It took a good half hour to pry Luffy away from the town of Koshu that had apparently been very exciting. In fact, exciting enough that he hadn't caused mischief in the hat emporium, just everywhere else.

Only a promise by Sanji to make a gigantic feast for National Hat Day was enough to get him to come, and remember the reason they were there in the first place.

The Straw Hats were on their way to a boisterous night.

0~0~0

Back on the _Thousand Sunny_ each crewmember had donned their chosen hat and were drinking, eating and partying to their heart's content. To say Luffy was pleased would be an understatement as he made sure to keep his nakama proud and aware of the specialness of wearing a hat. Sanji had made good on his promise and as Luffy dashed around on the deck his face was perpetually stuffed with decadent goodies.

Sanji himself was in a flurry of bliss from merely seeing how beautiful his angels looked beneath the stars. He was especially pleased to see Nami's hat, which she'd picked out beforehand. It was a black cat with little ears on top and tassels hanging down that swayed every time she turned her head to chat with Robin or shriek at one of the boys.

Chopper and Usopp chased each other with chopsticks in their noses, causing Sanji nearly fell over as he pursued the ladies.

"Aww! Nami-swan! You look so cute in your new garment! You as well Robin-chwan!"

He noodled around until Zoro got fed up and put his sake down in his exasperation.

"Garment? What man even _uses_ that word nowadays?" he scowled.

In a flash, Sanji's expression transformed from infatuated to pissed. He retorted venomously, "Oh, I don't know… but I sure can't say the same to you, _yanki_."

The cook referred to Zoro's cap shamelessly. The swordsman growled and unsheathed his katana.

"We'll see."

Zoro and Sanji finally came to blows while everyone enjoyed themselves in their own way. Brooke and Franky had struck up a duet and no one could deny the high spirits of all the people aboard.

Luffy jumped on a crate and threw his arms in the air. "Happy National Hat Day! Kampai!"

"Kampai!" they chorused.

They clunked their drinks and chuckled.

Their rubber captain grinned happily, "Next we need to have National Meat Day!"

Every Straw Hat groaned at Luffy's announcement, but they couldn't help laughing with him as well. Sometimes following their captain's crazy whims wasn't so bad…

0~0~0

** Author's Note:** I must apologize for taking so long to finish this, but it was kind of hard to write. I chose the least interesting of my mystery stories to do first. ..TT TT Either way, here's your prize for bearing with me through **Bizarre Scenarios **thus far! I like writing about Luffy being Luffy as you can tell and I didn't really choose a POV for this story, though Nami ended up being in control most of them time. Ah, words escape me…

So, a repeated plea, I need help on how to make polls so please lend your services. I'm technologically impaired. Thanks for reading and please review if you can find room in your heart. See ya soon!

By the way, a little Japanese lesson.

_Yanki_ means a juvenile delinquent or young gangster, Zoro in a cap reminds me of such. ^^


End file.
